This is an email my work mate just received from a colleague in the States. Obviously, he did the decent thing and forwarded it to us all so we could have a laugh at the crazy Americans. What on earth is this actually about - any guesses?

"Need your help folks. Between the pivots and the control charts, I am finding varying performance results. Mike mentioned that the enclosed consumer data is Maynard only. However, when I run the consumer CSAT (csat pivots), AHT, and SL data (avaya daily skill metrics)...my numbers don't jive with this. I'm talking to my data today."