The Commonwealth Games is crap. It is a lame excuse for Australia and England to stack up a huge pile of medals that mean next to nothing: No USA competitors, none from Europe, none from China. The competitors are a motley crew of Pub Team members on holiday (Flat Green Bowling, Shooting, etc.) or posh kids with no friends (hockey for fuck's sake). The presenters are blandness personified, whereas the commentators are either on speed or else haven't slept for five days: Their fake excitement is beyond parody - mountain biking may be fun to do but it isn't a spectator sport.

The BBC is taking the piss.