we all sit with our inboxes open all day long like the veiny legs of a whore. And we all feel the same rush when the towering '1' of a new message thrusts itself into our warm welcoming chamber.

but oftentimes the '1 new message' is nought but flaccid disappointment, our excitement is spent too soon. Perhaps in some cases we even end up full of piss?

So what e-mail is the equivalent of a limp cock in your box?