So...now we've established *cough* that you DO NOT get peerages by lending the most powerful political party money (no sir, that was just coincidence), can someone tell me how you DO get one?

Because I would always have assumed backhanders were the way you went about it. However, looking at Lord Archer and Baroness Thatcher, one would surely assume that you achieve a peerage by being an absolute CUNT!

So, that being the case, last one of us in the Lords buys a round of drinks?