Dear Sir/Madam,

Being an avid television viewer (a viewer of TV) I can't help but notice your charming adverts voiced over by the wonderful Sean Bean (his name doesn't rhyme, it just looks like it!). Anyhooo, in these adverts you mention lots of reasons to shop at Morrisons the food Superstore that you own. These reasons are numbered with numbers AND the numbers you use to number them go up very high indeed, into the hundreds. However, I have yet to see a complete list of these numbered reasons. For example, from viewing your website I can see 'Reason 71' is your new Livingstone Morrisons Store.

Therefore, I would grealy appriciate if you could provide me with a comphrhensive list of these numbered reasons forthwith as some people once I met told me that you made these numbers up and there is no real list. Please email the list so I can read it and prove them all wrong.

From your (and Sean Bean's) biggest fan,

Moker.