Totally unrelated to zxcvbnm's thread yesterday about a particular American holiday, I am coincidentally cooking a MASSIVE turkey on Saturday. It's something like 10kg, (an XXL from Tesco), and reckons it will feed up to 22 people. It's currently defrosting in the fridge. I put a picture on Facebook and my dad was so concerned about the practicalities of cooking it, he actually rang me this morning to advise me to separate it into legs and breasts before roasting.

I'm not really sure what to do. We've got some of that massive turkey foil to put around it, and it will go in the oven whole (I think), but suggested cooking times online range from anything from 4hrs 30mins to up to 7hrs (!). I can just drape some bacon over it and whack it in, and wait until the juices run clear. Or, I could joint it all and do it in chunks. I was thinking of spatchcocking it, but it would be about the size of a mattress if I did.

Send turkey roasting tips this way please.