That's right, clarts, today we're talking about cuisine classique, the style of French haute cuisine codified by Auguste Escoffier and still used a basis for modern chef training. You know when those witless chumps turn up on MasterChef: The Professionals, and Monica is like, "Are you classically trained?", well, ARE YOU?

For example: There are five "Mother Sauces" as laid down by Escoffier - can you even name them, let alone knock one up if asked?