Monday - Write off - Morning is spent marking time til lunchtime, Afternoon spent figuring out what my job is and what i was doing on friday afternoon
Tuesday - Gentle recovery day - Morning spent remembering what I was supposed to be doing, Afternoon spent preparing to do some work on wednesday
Wednesday - Full throttle day - I remember what my job is and do it amazingly, all day long.
Thursday - Throttle eased - Morning spent congratulating myself for all of wednesday's hard work, Afternoon spent 'gilding the lily' making wednesday's work look significantly greater and more difficult than it actually is.
Friday - Coasting into the dock - Morning spent pretending to still be working, Afternoon spent hovering over Alt-Tab with internet in one window, blank spreadsheet in the other. 4pm, horrifying realisation that I've forgotten to do something I was supposed to, 4:15pm, missing work skillfully covered up or blamed on inferior teammate, 4:30pm Guilt over having done nothing for another week, 4:45pm feeling of supremacy over everyone else from having done nothing again all week.

Probably throw in a couple of wanks in the bogs too over the week