Let's face it, they're a fucking nuisance.

I've come up with a new design to replace them.

You have a metal plate fitted behind your lips which is essentially a food grater and to eat all you have to do is to rub your food up against the grater so that it passes through in easy to swallow shreds.

Downsides: You won't be able to stick your tongue through it to lick your lips and it does kind of ruin kissing and oral sex but they're both massively overrated anyway.