I've been given this task at work.

I have to redesign the body and make it so that we don't piss out of our doodahs anymore. And also for the purposes of this project I've been told that the old you-know-what is a sexual orifice too, so we won't be shitting out of that anymore. Apologies in advance.

Starting to feel that this is too big a task for me, particularly given that I failed O Level Biology, so any help would be gladly welcomed.

Any preferences for where you want your new poo and wee holes fitted?

And yes I've already asked, you will be able to have a go in the new poo hole. So there's no need to ask that one, warny.