this is unpleasant but i need to write it down where people don't know me and are nice. had to have the cat put down yesterday night, woke up to hear her having seizures and screaming in pain and my brother crying in the next room. tried to sort out a vet appointment but it was taking a really long time and my brother said one of us should do it to save her from hurting. i held hr neck until she stopped moving, was totally convinced she was dead. after about 10 seconds she started gasping and wheezing again with her tongue out and eyes rolled up, after a while she recovered to a state where she just looked asleep. couldn't bring myself to try it again. took her to the emergency vets where she woke up, had another fit and then got lethal injectiond. vet said she most likely had a brain tumour.

very sad now. can't get the picture of her gasping for breath out of my head. she was a fucking great cat, properly loved her. 20 years a pimp, rip tiger.