Dear world's worst client,

Thank you for your email below requesting a quote for our services for the remainder of your financial year.

Thing is, it depends, but it'll be an awful lot fucking less if you actually reply to our emails once and a while and don't leave every last task to the eleventh cunting hour every time, you massive bunch of incompetent shitstains.

Kind regards,

Guy who's tried to dump you twice but has a boss who's too soft in the heart and head