Alright fellas? Bought owt decent this week, or got any checkout beefs?

- Apetina feta cheese cubes, the big tubs, wow. Probably tastes the same as all other feta cheese, but the tub comes with a proper slick removable basket inside. Great stuff. £1.99. Pure joy. Probably been around for ages.

- How do Paul Newman's sauces rank? Been noticing them on offer a lot recently.

- Staffordshire Oatcakes. Why aren't they more popular? Fill one of them bad boys with grated cheese and it's a prince amongst snacks.

- What's all this shit with people not going up and down the aisles properly but instead doing their shopping by items on a list one at a time? Bunch of absolute cunts. Take a list, sure, but don't fuck with the system.

Shoot...