There used to be this fella who lived round our way called Veg, he was a gashead. the story goes that his skull had gone soft because he'd done too much gas over the years, and he needed to keep doing gas to stop his skull from caving in.

Thinking about it, that was probably bullshit. He was definitely a gashead, but the rest of it I'm not so sure about now.

Probably been done before, but whatever. Regale me with your favourite tales of dubious authenticity.