There's a man called Fred at work, late 30's/early 40's. His left eye is turned towards his nose which I think growing up might have made him a bit of an outcast, he's a really nice fella but has a tendency to make up stories like how he sold a fake Rolex on eBay for £1k and once 'chinned a lion' after him and his mates got into the enclosure at a zoo.

Anyway at break today he came back from the microwave with a bowl of beans and sat next to me going `Bloody tin of sausage and beans and there's no sausages in it!` and started stirring the beans around with his spoon as though he was looking for sausages. `Must be one in a million chance that, beans and sausage and they don't put any sausages in it!` then a minute later this girl walked past and said `You're just having a bowl of beans!?` and he said `It was a tin of beans and sausage but there was no sausages in it!` and she said `Oh realllly....` knowing that he's a compulsive liar and he had to make up a story so no one knew he was intentionally eating a bowl of beans.