Zenit St Petersburg have spent lots of money on Hulk and Axel Witsel, presumably in an effort to get the coolest-sounding team-sheet in world football, and in turn probably ending Spurs' chances of signing Moutinho.

Dimi Berbatov is bitter.

Wes Foderingham is forgiven.

Didier Deschamps is successfully trolled by Andre Villas-Boas.