What is your bedside weapon of choice? You know, for when villains attack you in the middle of the night. Like they do.
Baseball bat? Perhaps a cricket bat? A knife if you're a bit of a psycho?

I have a broken bit of one of those radiator airers. A thin rod of metal coated in white plastic. Would hurt like fuck I reckon and would definitely draw blood which means once I'd seen them off the police would be able to get a decent DNA sample.