Not sure i can really be arsed with all the derby bants. Find it a bit boring, tbh, but knock yourselves out. Briefly delved into the papers this morning for the first time in a week, just seems to be Jonny Evans talking a lot again. Quite liked this, though - http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/manchester-united/9234551/Charity-single-released-for-Manchester-derby-as-United-legends-collaborate-with-Malaysian-Pop-Idol-winner.html

Everton, Wigan and Chelsea crush Fulham, Newcastle and QPR, respectively.

Liverpool win a game, Suarez actually does something.

Spurs back to winning ways against hapless Blackburn.

A few draws elsewhere, Swansea and Wolves sharing eight goals the pick.

Great news for people who actually like football, as Roy's lined up for the England job. Shame the press will destroy him when England fail to get out of the group, but it'll be nice to have a manager we can get behind in the short term.

Southampton clinch promotion. Birmingham will quite probably merk West Ham hard in the play-off final.

Wycombe, Chesterfield, Exeter & Macc Town all suffer relegation. Shrewsbury promoted.

Barca and Real tap in a shedload between them.

Ajax & Montpellier all but seal their respective leagues.

Any other business?