Archetypal away first-leg performance from Chelsea, who beat Benfica 1-0. A good solid performance, perhaps fortunate to have not conceded a penalty. Not a big fan of the deliberate part of the deliberate handball rule, personally.

Apoel put up a good fight for 45 minutes and Benzema commits a horror miss, but Real Madrid eventually triumph, and quite convincingly at that.

Tottenham disgust the footballing world by not letting Bolton win.

Vaughan scores an absolute nightmare of an own goal and in the process sets up a Merseyside derby in, erm, north-west London.

West Ham and Portsmouth win, Ipswich and Boro draw, Bradford-Crawley descends into chaos (not Crawley, SURELY!) and Shrewsbury are LITERALLY on fire.

Balotelli does something funny.