Been chatting to a couple of friends. I'm not the only one who has one...mine looks like hunch back Fritzl as a undercover indie boy.

Offending actions:
1.) Regularly leans against the middle pole stopping other people holding on to it.
2.) Flails around with a massive back carelessly.
3.) Often doesn't hold on to anything and just leans directly on you to steady himself.
4.) Has used people's backs/shoulders as a reading rest.