That's right, today's been shit, here's where it gets real.

What's wrong with you back bacon munchers? Yeah, we all like the lean bit, but the joy of bacon is in its crispy, sizzling fat, merging with the lean bit and creating one almighty mouthful. It has to be streaky. Has to be. If you have issues with fat, I suggest vegetarianism as a perfectly valid lifestyle choice.

You can throw a discussion about smoked and unsmoked if you must (though obviously it's smoked, no contest) but please stay away from brown sauce/red sauce debates, this isn't the time or the place.