I have been shaving my own head for the best part of ten years. I have grown my hair out to about 3/4 of an inch due to a clippers malfunction, but this uniform length all over looks a bit shit especially with my weird fluffy thick hair. The idea is prior to getting some more clippers and resuming 10 more years of home hairdressing that I go to a barbers and get a proper haircut. I am completely out of date in terms of what haircuts to get or even what to ask for in a barbers these days. Will I get laughed out for being uncool asking for a short back and sides? Shall I just think "fuck it" and ask them to do "whatever looks best"?

You could just call this a what do you ask for when you get a haircut thread.