"We've been fortunate enough to be custodians of some wonderful flower beds and an enviable shrubbery" muttered Sister Glaynche Wickes as she sipped the tea I'd made for the two elderly callers.

I wiped the pot's spout and popped it down on the doily and said "Did you know Hitler was a vegetarian?"

"What's that dear?" uttered Sister Rangeruvver leaning in

"A Nun Secateur" I replied.