christ.

so, i'm just walking home, listening to ornette coleman, minding my own business.

some guy blocks my path off. i take off my headphones.

mugger: give me your fucking money

me: mate, i haven't got any money. (i did, i had about twenty quid)

mugger: just give me your money

me: look, i haven't got any fucking money ( i did, i had about twenty quid)

mugger: just empty your fucking wallet *pushes me*

me: *pushes him in the chest back* look, fuck off mate

mugger: *actually fucks off and starts to walk away* you're a fucking pussy mate

me: piss off

unbelievable. i tell him to fuck off and he does. literally the world's worst mugger. i think i'd feel better if i'd been held at knife/gun point. at least that would lend the affair some authenticity. trust me to get an apathetic mugging.