Parliament is out, all the important people have decamped to their summer homes on the Riviera, so the usual 'news' that fills our papers and TV broadcasts has dragged to a halt. Now is the time to get endless front pages from one missing child, or bump up the book to page 3 leads stories that usually wouldn't make a quirky picture.

So, please use this as a running thread to collect all the completely daft 'news' stories that desperate media organisations are running with in lieu of actual material.

I'll start us off with two bozos who've changed their names to something daft. Classic:

http://news.sky.com/home/article/16041712