...he's going to bed.

Lights are all out, he's in his jim jams...about to hit the hay.

He hears a knock at the door. he's liek wtf...should I just ignore it or whut? But then he decides it's for the best to find out who it is

so he dons his dressing gown, plods downstairs and opens the door

There's no-one there. He hears a cough and looks down. there's a snail on his doorstep.

The snail says "look I'm sorry, i realise what time it is, but I was just wondering if you'd like to buy one of these encyclopaedias I'm selling.

The man's like SRS? dude...smail selling shit late at night?! Jesus man...and he picks the snail up and BOOTS him across the road far far into acrosstheroadneighbour's back garden. Plods back upstairs and goes to sleep.

2 years pass.

Not much to speak of, the man's in the same house. He's had a promotion so it looks a bit nicer...he's got a nicer bed now, and he's about to get in it.

Switches off all the lights, has a stretch and is about to get in when he hears a knock at the door.

oh ffs, he says: what's the juice THIS time? I remember this happening before. Bah...he pops his dressing gown on, goes downstairs and plods through to his hall.

Opens the door...there's no-one there.

Looks down, comes eye to eye with a snail.

Snail says "Jesus, what's your fucking problem?"