Inspired by TheBeautifulOnes' "I went to New York and posted on DiS" one.

Once, on a trip round Belgium to visit WWI battlefields and cemteries, there was a commotion in the hall outside our rooms (it was one of those cheap Formual One hotels - good times).

A fat lad called Liam was encouraging everyone to come into his room to see the turd that his roommate (nerdy Rhodrey) had depositied in the loo. It was so big, it couldn't flush. People were queueing up and crowding round to get a look at it, it was literally the size and thickness of a tin of beans.

Then, amid the screaming giggling chaos, Madame Perks, our French teacher walked sternly in shouting "What IS this commotion?" The crowd parted and she looked into the bog. Her face crumpled with disgust and with a withering tone, she just said: "Good God, are you ill?" and walked out.

Those were the best days of my life.