I find awards ceremonies similar to onanism, inasmuch as they only really serve the interest of the person involved and are nothing of surprise at the end of the day. I mean really, did anyone weep openly into their loved one's shoulder the moment they heard the 'news' that one of 'us' plucky brits had won something for a film? Naturally, I didn't -I just tried to imagine Dime Judi Dench's clenched teeth behind her 'crack in a pie' vinigary lips and then 'doing an Eastenders' with anything she could get her hands on. Really she's only one step up from Barbara Windsor anyway, for crying out loud.

Really my point is - awards ceremonies - unless youre winning something, or taking coke backstage with someone who knows Peter O Toole's shed advisor, then what IS THE POINT?