I've gone over my overdraft limit after booking ATP tickets, so my credit card is the only way I have of taking money out until I get paid on the 27th.

Or at least it was, until I went to the bank just now and the ATM retained my card "due to a fault". How long till my new one arrives? 5 to 7 working days. How much is in my wallet right now? 8p.

So unless anyone wants to give me money, you'd better start being really entertaining before I lose the will to live