WHY IS A POET WHO WRITES POEMS LIKE THIS EFFORT

Win Back The Ashes

Back home you’re sure to ask how we lost the Ashes
Were our players not as good?
Didn’t they play as they should?
All quite true, doesn’t say why we lost the Ashes.
Negativity wasn’t right
It let them tonk us out of sight.
It’s a dream all of Australia realised,
We should try it, cos then we wouldn’t be so surprised
At what might come true.

One sweet day we’ll learn how to win back the Ashes
Then Australia will envy us
Instead of saying we’re pretty wuss

Let’s fight back to win the Ashes
Win back the Ashes.

BEING PAID NEARLY EIGHT GRAND BY THE ARTS COUNCIL, WHEN PEOPLE LIKE ME, WHO HAVE DECENT, WELL-REVIEWED BOOKS OUT, GET FUCK ALL?!!

HOW?!!

FUCKING HELL.

sorry. ego moment there.

but seriously, WHAT A CUNT - if I'd have known this position was going, I'd have gone for it, but I'm FUCKING sure something fishy was going on somewhere.