...and all I got was a lousy 56 page booklet documenting the history of my tribe dating back about 300 years. I had no idea I was in a tribe, but apparently we're like, badass.

Now I haven't read it yet, but from just the contents page and the introduction, I have gleaned that:

1) We practise twin-killing. Yes, that's exactly what it sounds like: Because twins are evil and bring plague and AIDS - if you have twins, you must kill them and try again. Killing one and pretending the other was a norm is alright, unofficially.

2) My great-grandad had 16 wives. Party on, Wayne!

3) My grandad has two wives. Party on, Garth! And the woman I thought was my grandmother for the past decade or so actually isn't related to me at all - my mother's real mother actually lives in the US. Apparently these are all things I could have known had I asked.