Another reason why I probably 'am what I am' (not as in 'I Am What I Am', a 1984 hit for someone who wasn't Gloria Gaynor but was alluding to be such a gay icon-y type blah) is a little known or cared about fact regarding my stupid parents showing dogs, but not any ordinary type of dogs, oh no, they happened to be 'Standard Poodles', the ones which look like novelty toilet roll holders and one year they qualified for Crufts.

I used to get laughed at when I'd have to take them for a walk after school and everyone had 'proper' dogs and I had to parade around two bloody self indulged canine queens so can you imagine, no please IMAGINE how scared I was that one of these stupid pampered bog brushes was going to win and be the new face of Pedigree Chum and be on telly??? I do believe the fateful day at Earls Court (PROLEFACT: my first day out in London) was the day when I had my first illicit cigarette at the age of 13 - oh dear.

THankfully the one which entered Crufts only got 'Very Highly Recommended' whatever that means and it went on to live to be 15 and when my mother called one day to tell me they'd had it destoyed I laughed.

See the damage parents can do to you? Also to make things worse they had 'humans' names. Why do people give pompous dogs and horses human names? This is another thread in itself??