I bought some Christmas cards, some wrapping paper, some gift tags and a tape dispenser. Why the shitting shit does Mr WH Smith and his spotty harbinger of doom on the till think that what I need on top of that is some half price chocolate?

And some fucker cut me up at the Robin Hood roundabout and then had the cheek to ignore my various hand signals.

And the tramp didn't turn up yesterday, so I didn't get to see him taking a piss down an alleyway. A bad weekend all round, really.

Half price chocolate?