a few years ago, me and my old flatmate went to the work xmas piss up and got totally faced. ended up going to seperate parties blah blah drinking etc didnt know what was going on etc etc, anyway....i got home before him and collapsed into bed with some random girl i'd bought home with me and fell fast asleep (my bed was totally enclosed by walls on all sides). when my flatmate got home, he thought, in his "hilarious" way he would come in my room and wake me up. bare in mind he looks like osama bin-ladan, only with VERY long dreads.

he came into my room, got onto the bed, still in his coat (not realising there was some randon girl there) and while he was stradling both of us with his dreads dangling in our faces, said, "i'm gonna fuckin' rape you, SO hard".

i think she actually shit herself. i didnt hear from her again

this is the same guy that sent a text from my phone to my cousin saying, "can we be kissing cousins?".

er? i dont even know why i bothered writing that